25 February, 2006
Mad entry before work with Scarface on in the background- some fight seen- everyone's a bit pissed off it seems- smashing things and saying something about Liberty- albeit it sounds like they're saying, "Little Car."
Sky is all grey. I'm thinking its too wet to work- its staying in writing and cleaning weather- its Lorne weather- watching storms roll over.
I can't actually remember where we went that night- we were staying in a cabin just off the Great Ocean Road and the guy who ran the park said, "There's a severe storm warning so make sure you're inside when it hits." He said, "I've never even SEEN that colour on the radar."
That's when you wanna run out into it though isn't it?
What's that certain joy that comes with swimming in a lake when a lightnight storm is coming? The death joy? But its not that- its the alive joy? I'm not sure that sounds so... something...
Right now- I'd like to sit in a room- with a balcony- look at them rolling in and over- remember when the dust did that when the fires came when I was little- rolled up the bottom of the mountain to meet our fires. I want storms so loud that you can't hear the music- you can't hear the tv- you just lie there and have sex and fall asleep to it.
I'm going to buy bathers tomorrow.
No one come watch me swim at the pool cos I'll feel like throwing up the whole time.
I just want no excuses from me you know?
None.
Zilch.
We're going to make it work- this year- this life- this year its going to be made to work- I don't care what any of you say- mostly though I don't care what I say....
So... Elly's b'day and I said, "Yay can't wait to see you..." and the one word email response was, "Cool."
Which was a rather cool response really.
So that kinda sealed it for me.
I just imagine getting up there and things being strange and chilly and me getting myself too wasted to think straight and wanting to get home and disappearing into the bush to be discovered days later in a small article in the Herald Sun.
One year from today- you mark my words.
Ready Steady Set On Your Marks Are You Ready To Rumble?