07 February, 2004
This is one of the most bizarre sensations ever. Its like being that room swirling turning drunk but without the drunk. I move my head and the world moves after me or before and its glowing.
Who needs drugs when you can trip out like this on your own?
Jake is in town- which is great- just means juggling of where people are sleeping- as he is kinda staying with us. Not sure. StKilda Festi tomorrow and I'm not sure. Its all a bit much really. I'm wondering if I'm feeling so odd because of the hormones or because I ate something strange or because of what happened last night. Could be a combination of all of it? I took enough rescue remedy to kill a small child so I'm thinking that has something to do with it. I keep looking to see if Dan is coming up the stairs but he can't cos he's at work.
I'm thinking of things that I can do to ensure that nothing fucks up. I'm thinking of stupid voodooy fingers crossing magic phrases curses and what nots. I'm not going to be doing any bad or good luck things- cos who knows who got it right with the whole number thirteen bullshit.
But what I'm saying is that I want it to work out. For the first time in forever I'm wanting to plan for the future. I'm thinking- fuck the past- no really fuck it- it means nothing.
I was expecting last night- holy shit the computer screen just bugged out or I'm hallucinating now- to get a 'what the fuck did you just do bitch' response or something like that. I didn't realise that that was what I have become accustomed to. Boys, men, just like we are responsible for conveying disappointment and frustration and lack of fulfilment via being bitchy- you too have to answer for using aggression and calling your loved one things like that.
I said that all the wrong way but atleast I'll remember what I meant later.
Should I keep cleaning?
Yeah.
I'll sort my cds or something.
Supposed to be at work right now.
I'm getting paid to trip out upstairs and sort things into neat (I've forgotten how to spell piles).
Neatnesses.
Them.