16 July, 2004
So I'm not sure if you've noticed but its been rather quiet around her lately.
Around HERE lately. Its also been cold and sore and lonely and strange and quiet quiet quiet.
I have a count down- twenty five minutes till I start work. My hands are cold and sore and I have a scarf over my jacket over my jumper and the heater on. Its not THAT cold surely?
Strange Australian houses that conserve energy via no central heating.
I'm not sure what's going on. I'm obsessing over B. I'm thinking constantly about him and his loneliness and how much I miss his company. I'm obsessing over how much wrong I've done to him and that ... that .. its so self interested I guess. I have to get over it and then get over it some more. But even if we want to we secretly don't want them to do we? We want to hold them captive like a nicely woven spider's sack.
Aparently I have to start work at two tomorrow now instead of four though no one thought that telling me would help.
I'm starting to think seriously about getting some weird qualification and staying at home and working from there. You can all come visit for lunch or cups of tea.
Where I'll hit you up for free graphics work and market advice.
I think that HERE may survive. I'm not sure. The holiday is lonelier than I expected.