26 February, 2004
Breaking hearts is horrible.
Really- it doesn't matter who the person is- what they are like- what they do to know- how badly or wonderfully they treat you- how perfect it is or ....
none of that matters.
Its the crying that kills me- my own, their's. Its the breaking in the voice. Its terrible and I promised never to do it again if I could help it- that's the thing though-you really can't help it sometimes. Sometimes its just what happens all on its own.
I wonder if I've just walked away from everything.
I some times got the feeling that it was everything- I saw a road that seemed so clear and straight and I was biding my time- waiting for it to all settle and be right.
It all sucks really.
Is this seventeen? Is this twenty three? What is this? Twenty eight? Are you kidding me? This is still going on?
And its all linked in- its glowmesh I swear- have you ever looked at that stuff? Its like chainmail for girls. You look closely and its little circle links and the shiney slinky bits are actually all clawed around it- raaargh!
I wish I could write about this here.
But people have a habit of wanting to find out what you wont tell them.
Can't say I blame them- I'm an idiot for telling them this even exists.
I miss Rich.